Self-help Tool for Dealing with
Difficult Relationships
Sometimes relationships with people you need to be in day-to-day contact with can be wrought with problems from the first time you saw them or become difficult as time goes by. Negative reactions, aggressive behaviour, jealously, rudeness or other difficult-to-handle behaviour can be very tiring and emotionally wear you down.
In most cases, avoiding the party is great advice but what happens when the person giving you a “hard” time is a boss or fellow co-worker that you have to work in harmony with? Or alternatively, when you are a boss and you know you are reacting to an employee without apparent cause and yet cannot comprehend why or stop the reaction.
This is a very common question expressed within my healing practice and after years of working in this field, the “intuitive” answers and subsequent healing, encompasses many different solutions. One fact stands out above all others... who the people are today often has little or no bearing on what they are currently experiencing.
In many cases, the situations occur due to inherent (automatic) reactions to past situations or events, both present-life and (often much to my clients’ shock) to past-life situations. Childhood issues, fear, pain or trauma or even a mild rebuke or telling off which to the parent appeared quite innocuous can leave a scar, an "energetic" imprint on their child's psyche creating a reaction to a situation or event that still has the power to press their buttons today.
Our energy field are amazingly complex and comprises trillions of incredibly fine lines of energy (all coming together to look like a mass of colour and light) and our central (energy) core can be “read like a book” as it contains a complete record of our existence, both past and present.
Negative, stressful or traumatic situations produce little “burs” (bumps) along the energy lines. In time, these can build up to become major energy blocks affecting the energy flow. As these “burs” hold a memory of the reaction, at some future time, when the situation appears similar, they “respond” to the current situation by reproducing the reaction that happened back in time!
Compounding the situation further is that as we keep “reacting” and “responding” to the person or situation, we create neurological pathways (tracks) through the brain (like tire tracks in a mud road) that we automatically follow because they are familiar. Being human, we often find it easier to follow these familiar paths which helps keep the “reaction” in place rather than explore a new approach to the situation.
Knowing all this is very well. But how do we deal with it when it happens?
The healing process that I use tracks back in time through the energy lines to find when the first “energetic imprint” relating to the relationship issue came into effect.This can be complex work and I feel that sometimes it is like unravelling a fine gold chain that has become intertwined... it can be difficulty but worthy of the time and attention. It is then cleared at its conception and, with insight and understanding of the situation, it allows my clients to become free of the reaction.
In some cases, the following self-help technique has provided assistance when people prefer to work through simple reactions or situations themself.
(note: In extreme cases, it is highly recommended that you contact myself or use a professional to assist you through the process.)
Self-Help Technique :
Imagine in your minds eye that you are travelling back in time to the first time that you were involved with this person you are having problems with. Don’t try and examine the past situation in too fine a detail... just feel the disharmony that exists between you; nothing else but concentrate on feeling the disharmony (rather than the story).
Once the feeling is well and truly anchored within you, imagine that you are gathering up all the disharmonic energy that existed between you (if you have trouble imagining it, give the “energy” a colour) and taking a big huge breath, release it all by blowing it all out of existence.
Then affirm out loud (like the person is in front of you and you are talking to him or her):
“I honour your journey as I honour mine; I honour the time that we have journeyed together but, from this time onwards, I revoke and break all agreements that have been made between us – I forgive you as I forgive myself and I step away from judgement of your actions or mine in the knowing that we both did and now do the best that we were and are able to. From this time forth, I release you and set you free to travel on your journey as I release myself and I set myself free to travel on mine.”
Mentally step away from the situation, allowing time to complete the healing and move on along your journey through life.
Finally, remember it takes two to tango and, if you react to a situation too, it is "your stuff" as well as theirs. Choose to take an action to change for, as it has been said so many times, if you always do what you have always done, you will always be who you have always been!
This is one of a series of Self-help articles written by Suzanne Evans, Metaphysical Teacher and Healer (c)
