Are you finding there just isn’t enough time for you at the moment? Are you buried in work and commitments, and failing to say No? Do you feel guilty when you take an hour out for yourself?
What is it about not feeling good about putting ourselves first? I believe you should. I believe it’s how you are your most productive at work, and most attentive at home.
You can put yourself first. And feel good about it.
You might grapple with, how can I only think about myself? But this isn’t about making yourself the only priority. It’s not them or you. It’s both. And it may well fluctuate from one day or week to another as to how it is balanced (sick kids at home anyone?!), but balancing is the key. There is no balance in having yourself at the bottom of the heap, or left out altogether.
Have you booked yet?
So where are You on the to-do list this week? Have you been for that walk you promised yourself today? That massage, that gym session, that meditation class? Have you had some quiet time to read that book you’ve been dying to get stuck into to?
I think you’re important enough. Do you?
I was initially surprised to discover that when I follow up with new clients about an appointment, they are usually very grateful that I’ve helped them get around to booking. They are caught up in their dazzling array of commitments and find themselves once more buried at the bottom of the to-do pile.
It’s easy to not get around to things. Our good intentions get lost in the day to day, and weeks or months later we remember – oh yes, that course I was going to go on, that boys golf day we were supposed to book. Hmmm. Maybe next month.
So, Tip #1 – Plan ahead
If you’re too busy to book time for yourself this week, book it a few weeks out. Then that lovely massage after work simply rolls around and life just fits around it. Works a dream I promise.
Tip #2 – Drop the guilt
Guilt is a burdensome weight often of epic proportions and stifling your very sense of self. We need to give it a break. Yes your kids, partner, work, boss, community, sick friend, parents all matter. So do You.
For some, guilt feels like a difficult thing to let go of and I think many parents in particular feel it’s their due (which is really just another way of saying you can’t have what you want and feel good about it). However, I’ve seen people and families transformed when mum or dad can come home at the end of the day feeling light and relaxed about having done a satisfying day’s work, and with enough emotional energy in the tank to give their loved ones care and attention. And even have fun.
I know you deserve it, but do you?
Tip #3 – Notice the difference it makes
See what happens when you start to take enough time for yourself. Notice how it makes a difference to your energy levels, mood, patience, enjoyment of your day.
You are important enough.
So next time you’re iffing and umming about fitting in that walk, game of squash, or girl’s night out, stop and check what is important about making it happen. Fight your corner and say yes, go for it, give yourself what you need.
Because you make a difference. It really starts with you.
When you take time for yourself and have the opportunity to recharge, you are a better version of yourself, with energy and presence for the people you love.
Then you help them do the same.
Doesn’t that make you feel good?
Finding time for you: it’s good, it’s good, it’s really good!
Karen Ross
Fresh Ways Forward – Transformational Coaching
helping you get the life you want
© Copyright aVara Consulting Ltd 2012. Fresh Ways Forward is a brand of aVara Consulting Ltd.
