The image of everyone playing happy families at gatherings, occasions and events for example Christmas, weddings, funerals, birthdays and so, is sometimes a misguided one. On many an occasion a family member can experience resentment, stress, anxiety or just a general feeling of being on edge. And what’s more they are able to justify how they are feeling; they have cause to feel that way! And often just thinking about the upcoming event is enough to greatly increase the stress/anxiety levels experienced.
Five common family situations that can cause individual stress or anxiety are:
1. Old family hurts
Something happened in the past, maybe an unjust, unequal sharing of resources or an argument that went on far too long for example, which caused a lot of angst and hurt at the time and has festered away with the same feelings still there. And just knowing you are going to be in their company is already starting to cause some feelings of anxiety.
2. New member of the family
Perhaps a treasured son presents you with a daughter in law or partner, someone whom no matter how hard you try the two of you just end up rubbing each other up the wrong way. And of course your son seems to be taking her side. You know what’s right and how things should be done and she just doesn’t seem to get it! And it’s stressing you out!
3. You feel abandoned
The loss of a parent or close family member, regardless of how sudden the departure was, can create feelings of loss and abandonment. The grief is still there and you find family occasions bring those feelings to the surface once again. The joy goes out of the gathering before it’s even begun as those feelings of loss threaten to overwhelm you.
4. You like them but you don’t like their behaviour
Maybe a son or a daughter has created a life of their own, separate from you, and you’re not happy with the path they’ve chosen. You know they’re adults and it’s over to them now but it still hurts to think they have seemingly ignored their upbringing, or the values you instilled in them. And you find it difficult to let go of the disappointment.
5. You don’t feel appreciated
It takes effort, time and commitment to put together a family occasion. You enjoy seeing everyone but there’s hidden resentment as it’s always you who does all the planning and the work. It was the same last time, everyone has a great time and you’re left feeling like a wrung out dishrag! And each time you tell yourself it’s not going to happen like this again…
Do you feel some or any of the emotions above?
Are you holding onto feelings of disappointment, resentment, abandonment, frustration or hurt?
Have you tried to let it go but haven’t yet succeeded?
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) are a group of simple, self-help tools that have been clinically proven to eliminate or greatly reduce stress and emotional worry.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) may be perfect for you
It is from traditional Chinese medicine that we learned about the flow of vital energy (chi or qi) along meridian pathways. There are some key points where the flow from the body’s energy is more “accessible”. Such points were discovered and documented a long time ago. In fact, the Chinese have been stimulating these points through touch (acupressure) and needles (acupuncture) for over 5000 years. Since the tapping points are found on these meridians, EFT or Energy Tapping is also known as Meridian Tapping.
EFT, often just called ‘tapping’, brings together the basic principles of psychology, neuroscience and ancient medical practice by combining stimulation of a series of acupressure points with cognitive restructuring (specially worded affirmations), typically leading to shifts in thought patterns and relief from both physical tension and excess negative emotions.
Testimonial from a recent client:
“Linda taught me EFT and it has been the most wonderful tool ... and when I’ve had times of increased anxiety, and there have been many of them, EFT has brought immediate results by calming me down and eliminating the emotional feelings that tended in the past to overwhelm me. I believe EFT is a tool for life!” - Charlene, Office Administrator
Linda Wells is passionate about coaching people towards better outcomes and to ‘be at their best more often’.
As a health and performance coach her specialist role is to assist individuals to become more resourceful, to raise their emotional and mental fitness levels and to guide, encourage and support them in whatever they wish to achieve. We are held back only by the limits of our mind, at work and in our personal lives. By taking control of our thinking, and our feelings, we can harness the full power of our mind so anything is possible.
Linda’s years of experience in leadership, business, and personal development have enriched the successful strategies used to help clients experience living life to its fullest. Happier and healthier outcomes are achieved with individuals reaching their potential and getting more of what they want.
Linda is a qualified EFT Practitioner and works privately with clients face to face and Skype.